Just a vent

So, I like to think that I am very reliable, dependable, caring, thoughtful, and courteous. I would give my worst enemy the shirt off of my back if they needed it. And I'd do ANYTHING for my friends. When I was in 5th grade, I had a birthday party....my last birthday party. We rented a huge pool, bought all kinds if food, cake, games, everything and I invited tons of people. I looked forward to this birthday for months. Well, ONE person showed up...and it was the friend that we picked up on the way there. I was totally and completely heartbroken, and on that day I swore that I would never have another birthday party again. And I didn't. In the last 3 years, I have thrown countless birthday parties, 5 baby showers, an anniversary party, and many more...absolutely not expecting anything in return. So, finally, it was my turn. I'm getting married in 5 weeks and yesterday was my bridal shower. I had been fearing it for 7 months because I was sooooo worried about people not showing up and I would end up devastated just as I was 15 years ago. While I had a great turnout, there were a few people that were expected to come....people that I had gone out of my way for, spent my hard earned money on, been their shoulder to cry on, their confidant, and their friend. Is it really that hard to spend ONE hour of your life to make someone else happy? Ugh. Well, I definitely know who is really down for me and who I can go ahead and cut out of my life. And something in me has changed...I hope people can take care of themselves now because I will no longer go out of my way for anyone. I won't be anyones doormat. Thank you soooo much to everyone that came to support me. You have no idea how much it meant to me. NO IDEA. Most people don't appreciate those things as much as I do. Because of my traumatic 11th birthday, every single soul that walked into the tea room yesterday unknowingly humbled and honored me so very much...and I thank you for that. This was the first thing that I've ever had for me...just me. I had an absolute amazing time and I enjoyed every second of it. It wasn't until I left that I started thinking about the disappointment of the absence of certain people that I considered good friends and had SWORN to me that they would be there....and were such cowards that they couldn't even let me know that they weren't going to be there. I just hope that whatever your reason for not coming was worth losing a friend like me.